The Fighter

Folks always say that people diagnosed with cancer are “Fighters.”
“He’s fighting cancer,” they say.

But I’m not so sure.

I just finished my second cycle of chemo—
a week in the hospital both times.
I’m no fighter. I’m a surrenderer.

I just lie in my bed letting the doctors and nurses do whatever they want to me:
Hang another bag of that nasty chemo that’s killing me.
“We’re killing you to save you,” they remind me every day.

And they’re not lying. I’ve lost ten pounds already. All muscle.

I’m no fighter. I’m just a little, frail, balding, and frightened old man
lying in my sick bed waving a little white flag torn from my pillow.

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About the author: In the fall of 2022, Dr. John Smelcer was diagnosed with stage 2 B-cell, non-specified, non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, a metastatic cancer of the lymphatic system. He is currently undergoing hospitalization cycles of chemo and immuno-therapy. John Smelcer is the author of 60 books, including a dozen books of poetry. His most recent collection is Raven. For a quarter century, he was Poetry Editor at Rosebud Magazine, where he currently serves as Senior Editor Emeritus. From 2016-2020, he was the Inaugural Writer-in-Residence for the Charter for Compassion, the world’s largest compassion movement with over five million members in 45 countries.