Perfidy (My Body Has Betrayed Me)

Copyright © 2000, Lisa M. Lehman

My body has betrayed me, deprived me of intent.
The will survives, my strength wearied, another day desist.
Comprehension turned frustration, devotion deviate,
The important things that I held close, now make me feel irate.
To feel this way, and not know why, brings the spirit down
Quarantined by my own self, not wanting to be found.
Emotions crammed inside my head, I've never felt before
Overwhelm me like a deluge, never ceasing to pour.
The distance I have traveled, the miles take their toll
All the bumps I have endeavored are bearing on my soul.
I pursue the one that used to be so strong and full of life
I strive to reach the one before, who now is ruled by strife
Can I ever be content with who I have become?
A shell that's full of matter, who's senses are all numb.
I see the future clearly, I have it in my sight
To take the steps to get there, are a struggle and a fight.
Knowledge and experience are things that guide me through,
Little by little, each day at a time, is all that I can do.

Written by Lisa Lehman 1995