The Four Seasons of Having Cancer-Spring

I’m mustering up the courage to talk to people about my experience,
Spreading around my two cents worth like the pollen in the wind
I didn’t realize that as I planted seeds of hope in others’ homes,
Twice as many flowers sprung up in my garden

There’s still a long way to go,
At some point in the near future I hope to be able to get rid of my wig
But little things like slowly being able to say the word ‘cancer’,
Give me the hope that soon I’ll be able to win big

I’m recognizing that I worked on healing my mind and body separately,
When the two actually go hand-in-hand,
Just like you feel lumps in your gut when you’re sad,
The ‘lump’ in your stomach can make you lose your emotional command

So I’m making small changes in my routine,
That give my day a lot more purpose and meaning
Simply just going to the gym with a friend,
Contribute massively to both my physical and mental well-being

Yes, sometimes I wish I didn’t have to worry about some things at my age,
Like a constant eye on my diet & incorporating physical activity
But the fact of the matter is that being a cancer patient,
Is actually a huge part of my identity

And instead of fighting it, I’m trying to embrace it,
Of course a trauma so big isn’t as easy to just ignore
The looming fear of a relapse terrifies me to the bone,
But I use it to push myself to care for my body & love it more

Sun’s out and the shadow’s back,
No longer a threat, but a reminder
That I survived one entire year and four whole seasons,
And it made me tougher, stronger & kinder

Kinder not just to others, but to myself,
As I developed a deep connection with my body in times of doom
I learned that sometimes you take longer than you think to heal,
After all, even flowers take four entire seasons to bloom.